NOTICE: Urgent message from The Tight-V news team
There have been unconfirmed reports of Neil-Monkey sightings on the outskirts of our peaceful blog-village. This creature is to be considered armed and dangerous. Our field researchers from the peteycat team will soon be posting a photo of the Neil-Monkey that they received from an anonymous photographer (That's you Ellie!)
A Neil-Monkey can sneak up on you at any time because it may not speak for hours on-end if it is trying to convince you that it is a mute. However, beware, when this creature begins to talk, it may not cease. It has been known to have extremely powerful opinions and you may soon bend to it's will.
The 'Tight V' e-nimal control officers have these suggestions if you encounter a Neil-Monkey:
1. Carry Beer with you at all times. (good idea anyway)
2. Offer him the halflings' leaf.
3. Put on some Frank Zappa.
4. Give him a Bass guitar.
5. Carry Beer with you at all times.
6. Tell on him to Jeanna
If none of this works, offer him a shower. If he accepts, That should give you enough time to read a book, watch a movie, balance the national deficit and escape.
Furthermore, we are attempting to do a "Forced-Evolution" which will allow him to enter our blog-village without harm. Once he has been equipped with an email address and given access to a computer it will be safe for us to approach him.
Estimated time of completion is set between April 4, 2005 and April 8, 2005. That should give us enough time to make fun of him some more. (Mike & Ellie, don't tell on me!)
Netizens of Tight-V, you have been warned.
-Tight V News: If it's not news, we don't give a shit.
